The Kanye West Guide to Surfing

Kanye West smiling

Anyone who knows me knows about my long-term obsession with Kanye West.  It’s not just his music, it’s also his persona which fascinates me.  He is one part musical genius, and another part ludicrous, egotistical buffoon.  Whenever I hear of his latest exploits, such as his intention to run for the US Presidency or his foray into fashion, I drop to my knees and look to the sky and silently mouth the words “thankyou sweet baby Jesus, thankyou for Kanye, thankyou for what he brings to my life”.

And excitingly, it has recently been brought to my attention that Kanye has a lot to say about surfing….

  • “Harder, better, faster, stronger”  In the song ‘Stronger’ Kanye advises surfers not to feel crestfallen if they have a bad session.  He knows that it’s the setbacks that can eventually lead to harder rail turns, better cutbacks, faster drops and stronger paddling.  In the music video to ‘Gold digger’ if you watch Kanye’s mouth he is very clearly singing ‘Goal digger’.  He understands the importance of setting achievable goals instead of just surfing in an ad hoc fashion.   ‘Touch the Sky’ is Kanye’s tipping of the hat to aireal surfers.  He commends them for pushing boundaries.   ‘All of the lights’ contains Kanye’s recommendation to get yourself videoed surfing.
  • Kanye always wears sunglasses even when he’s inside. I am utterly convinced that if Kanye was to go surfing he would wear his sunglasses in the water.  Frankly the surfing world needs an ambassador for change for sunglasses in the water.  In the current climate a surfer is considered creepy if he/she wears sunglasses whilst surfing.  We need Kanye to save our burning retinas.
  • Kanye doesn’t care what other people think. He is not bound by other people’s limitations.  If someone tells him he can’t do something, it makes him even more determined to do it.  He is the Roger Bannister of our time.  He cocks a snook at the haters and doubters.  He would probably even wear his leather jogging pants in the water and wouldn’t give a toss about what other people said.
  • His tweets … some days whilst I’m leaving the house to go surfing I feel a sudden compulsion to go back in and log on my computer and see if he’s tweeted anything on Twitter in the last hour. My doctor says my Kanye West Twitter anxiety is not a rare condition.  If these tweets don’t get you amped up for a surfing session then nothing will…

“dreams are worth more than money”…..“you may be talented, but you’re not Kanye West”…….“I’m sorry Taylor Swift”…..“do everything you possibly can in one lifetime”

Kanye west looking sharp

Kanye you are a one-of-a-kind creative genius, I salute you!

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