Helen started surfing late in life, but was determined not to let that late start, nor a remarkable absence of natural talent, stop her. An obsessive geek she likes watching Kelly Slater in slow motion, cross-referencing swell forecasts, and wondering if she’ll ever get her back foot in the right place. She is a lowly minion in the surf industry, tapping away at the coal face, teaching people to pop up on the lovely beaches of Costa Rica or the UK.

Helen doesn’t have a glowing tan, lustrous sun-kissed locks, or the perfect surfer girl bikini body. Her mid-section is wildly out of control, she hates her neck, and her boobs are dropping an average of 1.5 centimeters every month. But she’s hoping to change all that when she starts a new juice cleanse next week.  Her favourite board is her Rusty Yes Thanks, and her favourite manoeuver is standing up on it.

Currently she is feeling rudderless and has started to write a blog out of sheer boredom and loneliness. Kookbitches is a blog is about the empowering world of women’s surfing, without the glitter and gloss of Roxy … But it does also cover some superficial issues like hot men, fashion and hair care.

Disclaimer: In case my Aunty Mabel is reading this, any reference to anything racy or remotely sexual is purely from what I’ve heard, and not from direct experience. This blog is not suitable for men, children, my parents, or nuns.


  1. Denise B~

    You taught me to surf 5 yrs ago…You are an awesome teacher and I didn’t realize how f$*#n’ funny you are….I’ve enjoyed everything I’ve read so far!! Keep it up! I hope to get out and surf some more on the Jersey Shore, USA this summer!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Brett Mitsch

    I am 49 Aussie bloke with a knackered hip who I know is not supposed to be following you but I have just started taking surfing lessons with my smart arse “look at me, I’m standing up on the board in the waves” kids and have absolutely loved your “how to pop up” videos. I hope they will get me standing up eventually!

    For what it’s worth I’ll follow you, if youse ladies will let me…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. cindy hefty

    I’m finally going to attempt to stand up on a surfboard. Glad I found your YouTube. Im 66. A snowboarder instructor, EMT, and not at all flexible. When I finish making a fool of myself, I’ll plan a trip for next year. How do I sign up for a lesson with you??


    1. helenbowditch

      hi Cindy, as a snowboarder you are going to have a huge advantage when learning to surf because there are lots of crossover skills. But I would definitely recommend doing some yoga because flexibility is important when popping up. I work for Pura Vida Adventures in Santa Teresa in Costa Rica, but I’m leaving at the end of this August to go back to journalism in the UK … ouch! yikes! But I would definitely recommend a trip with Pura Vida Adventures, especially during the summer months December, Jan, Feb, or March. Surf camps are more expensive than finding a private instructor, but the whole experience and camaraderie with the group is pretty special. Check it out, and if you need any more information then send me an email at helenbowditch@gmail.com …. 66 is young, a few years back we had a lady who was almost 80 and she was popping up better than the 30 year olds.


  4. Liz

    To be honest, deep down I’m still thinking I can never ever surf (even though me and my surfer-and-snowboarder-boyfriend are going to learn it aka ‘try it’ in my case). I’ve spent the last three hours on your blog and you of all the people out there (I’m worrying about this for about two years now lol, alas watched and endless lot of youtube vids and so on), you convinced me that – yes, totally, I can do that, I’ll never be able to put on that surfer-chick attitudes, but I’ll be able to surf and that’s the only thing the matters for f*cks sake 😛 Thanks for sharing your thoughts and awesome sense of humor!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. helenbowditch

      thanks Liz, and I know I harp on about this a lot, but it really is worth investing in some professional surf lessons because it will save you a lot of time and hassle. Get a recommendation from a friend / surf shop / or check out reviews online. Good luck and go for it!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s